he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
