I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
