i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize