Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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