glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
