JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
