I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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