"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
ok first of all what the fuck
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
