she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
