I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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