if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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