this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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