Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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