i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
