pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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