how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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