Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
