so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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