So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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