So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
