Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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