I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
