I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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