After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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