how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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