I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
