her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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