yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We talked him into tasing himself.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
