OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
