I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
