Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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