"it" just moved
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
