She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
