But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
