hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
