when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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