I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
