I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
