I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
