Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
