Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Randomize
