Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Send help, water and tortillas.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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