Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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