this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
