Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
