She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
