why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Is it penis luge time yet?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
