have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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