We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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