The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
