I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
