I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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