So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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