Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize