Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
