I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize