I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
