my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
