God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
this just has baby written all over it
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
