I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
