I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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