Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize